Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
