Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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