Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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