Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
