So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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