5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
