Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
