dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
