I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
