i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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