my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize