He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
