Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
