OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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