Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
