But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
