Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
