i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
