you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
