A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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