Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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