hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
