i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Oh god it's open bar.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
