I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
