my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
