I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
