Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
