my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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