it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
