Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize