I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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