So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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