Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
