Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize