I faked an abortion last night.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
