you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I love having hate sex.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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