Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
