last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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