just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
