Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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