her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
