good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
