garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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