You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
