dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize