these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize