Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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