dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
