I just pynch a tree in the face
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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