Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
