This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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