Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I got inside last night via doggy door
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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