i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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