I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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