We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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