I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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