well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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