Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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