Jerry, you need to find god
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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