I will die if light touches me.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize