You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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